


It's Your Fault, so Fix It

by connorstoll (quietrook)



Series: Olymparents [1]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Parents AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-14
Updated: 2014-08-14
Packaged: 2018-02-13 04:05:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2136351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quietrook/pseuds/connorstoll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Artemis thinks that Apollo has a swearing problem, and it's affecting the kids. Apollo comes up with a brilliant solution.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Your Fault, so Fix It

**Author's Note:**

> a fic written for http://olymparents.tumblr.com

“I’m serious, brother,” Artemis said, her lips turned down in a frown. “This is becoming a problem.”

“It’s not a problem; I can stop anytime I want.”

“Then stop,” she suggested.

“I don’t want to,” he said defiantly. “I don’t see what the harm is, sis.”

“You don’t see the harm?” Artemis brought herself up to her full height and even though she was still three inches shorter than her brother, he felt small. “Imagine - just imagine - that one day Austin gets sent home from school for saying, Zeus forbid, fuck.”

“That would never happen,” Apollo retorted, but he was rubbing his neck worriedly. That word already sounded strange enough coming out of his sister’s mouth; he couldn’t imagine his seven year old saying it.

“I’ve never even said that word around him. That’s not a real problem.”

“Oh, not a real problem? Really? Okay, then,” she said, shrugging. “I guess you don’t care that the other day Michael called Will a shithead, or that Will then told him to, as he eloquently put it, fuck off?”

Apollo blanched.

“W-what? They what?” His face when from white to red. “Obviously their friends are a bad influence. Is it the Stolls? I’ll go have a talk with Hermes rig--”

“It’s not the Stolls!” Artemis interrupted. “It’s you, brother. You are used to saying whatever you want and no one paying any attention to it, but you have children to look after, Apollo!”

“So what do you want me to do about it?” He asked, exasperated. “They already do it, and after the tumblr disaster I don’t think asking them not to and grounding them will help.”

Artemis made a face and said, “Unfortunately, I agree with you. What are we going to do?” 

The two of them thought for a moment and then, like a light bulb popping on, Apollo’s face brightened like the sun. 

“I’ve got it!”

“This should be good,” his sister muttered. “What?”

“Let’s enforce a swear jar.” He grinned, his eyes twinkling. “Every time they get caught swearing, they have to pay up.”

Artemis blinked a couple of times. She hadn’t expected that from him.

“That’s actually… brilliant, for you. What should the prices be?”

“The more offensive, the more costly. So the f word and the like will be top dollar -- ten bucks. If it starts with s or b, we’ll take it down to five. The baby ones - damn, hell, ass - we can let those be a dollar. Sound good, sis?”

She smiled, her pretty lips turning skyward. 

“Sounds perfect.”

 

\--

 

“Okay!” Apollo was sitting backwards in one of the kitchen chairs. 

He and Artemis had gathered all the members of Chateau Archer in the kitchen to discuss a thing. Austin was sitting politely at the end, across from Apollo, with his hands in his lap. Will was sitting sideways in a chair, leaning against the back and draping his arms over it. Kayla sat with her arms and legs crossed, Michael leaned against the wall in the corner, and Artemis stood by the counter. 

“Okay, what, dad?” Kayla asked, eyebrow raised.

Apollo set an empty Mason Jar on the table. Everyone stared at it and he waited (im)patiently for them to say something. Finally, Austin spoke.

“What’s that, daddy?”

Apollo smiled brightly at his youngest.

“This, kids, is the Swear Jar.”

Kayla, Will, and Michael groaned. 

“What’s a swear jar?” Austin asked innocently.

“If you cuss, you’ve gotta pay,” Will explained.

“Ohhhh.”

“Really, Dad?” Michael asked. “What the hell? That’s so uncool.”

“That’ll be a dollar.”

And so the first contribution to the swear jar was made.


End file.
